Day Three: The Worst
Sorry folks. Nothing remotely funny at all happened Sunday. It was, by far, the hardest day yet. I found myself reaching for cigarettes the entire day. To top it off, in the middle of trying to figure something about the Medicare Prescription Plan for my Mother I had a full blown anxiety attack. Now I’ve had them before and usually I get a warning before it gets out of control. Not this time. Sheer terror out of nowhere. Luckily my doctor prescribes Klonopin for these, but it felt like an eternity before they took effect. If there where cigarettes in this house I would have definitely smoked them.
What I think happened was that the gum delayed the withdrawal and it finally fully hit me Sunday. To top it off, I got a call from my Mother last night telling me that she fell down the stairs and she couldn’t get up. So we drove right up there only to find her sitting quit calmly on the sofa. “I tried to call you Mike. I guess it was just a charlie horse.” she explained. “But you said you fell down the stairs!” I said.” I did”, she relied, “Well one stair anyway. But I did fall right on my face and I couldn’t get up. I was really “ascared””.
I didn’t know whether to hug or strangle her.
So if Sunday was the worst of it, I made it though. With a little help from Klonopin and my friends, but I made it.
I wanted this to be a three day journal and it will be. Unless something dramatically changes this will be the last full post about it. I think I made it past the worst of it. Still, I know it's far frorm over. Today I feel much calmer. I’m going to shave, shower, and go out.
When Mike gets home I’m going to give him what he’s been literally and figuratively asking for over the last three days. And after it’s over, I will not smoke. I know there’s a joke in there somewhere.
So, I want to thank every single one of you for helping me though this. You really have no idea how much you all helped. I re-read all your comments a hundred times. I would have not made it without you. So thanks again. To quote the Divine Miss M, “But you got to have friends….”
I was going to end this with, “I love you all”. But I refuse to expose myself so nakedly on the internet.
Psst, hey you. Yeah you. I love you.
Now turn away before I blush.
What I think happened was that the gum delayed the withdrawal and it finally fully hit me Sunday. To top it off, I got a call from my Mother last night telling me that she fell down the stairs and she couldn’t get up. So we drove right up there only to find her sitting quit calmly on the sofa. “I tried to call you Mike. I guess it was just a charlie horse.” she explained. “But you said you fell down the stairs!” I said.” I did”, she relied, “Well one stair anyway. But I did fall right on my face and I couldn’t get up. I was really “ascared””.
I didn’t know whether to hug or strangle her.
So if Sunday was the worst of it, I made it though. With a little help from Klonopin and my friends, but I made it.
I wanted this to be a three day journal and it will be. Unless something dramatically changes this will be the last full post about it. I think I made it past the worst of it. Still, I know it's far frorm over. Today I feel much calmer. I’m going to shave, shower, and go out.
When Mike gets home I’m going to give him what he’s been literally and figuratively asking for over the last three days. And after it’s over, I will not smoke. I know there’s a joke in there somewhere.
So, I want to thank every single one of you for helping me though this. You really have no idea how much you all helped. I re-read all your comments a hundred times. I would have not made it without you. So thanks again. To quote the Divine Miss M, “But you got to have friends….”
I was going to end this with, “I love you all”. But I refuse to expose myself so nakedly on the internet.
Psst, hey you. Yeah you. I love you.
Now turn away before I blush.
posted by mike in philly at 8:20 AM
<< Home