The Man Who Saved My Life

Imagine a thirteen year old boy. A boy who has had Catholic dogma pounded into his head since he was five years old. A boy who’s sexuality is just awaking and it is pointing to the wrong gender. Imagine this boy praying day after day that these evil thoughts will leave him. Imagine his fear that God is not answering his prayers. Imagine this boy terrified he will go to hell for simply having these thoughts. Imagine this boy suddenly feeling completely and totally alone.Imagine that this boy is too terrifeid to even tell his parents about this. Imagine that this boy seriously considering suicide.

Now imagine a grown man across the ocean. He has worked very hard to become a well know recording artist. So far this has not worked. He has already tried many different musical styles and up to that point he was considered a one hit wonder. Imagine this man’s beloved Father dying. Imagine him falling into a depression so deep that he needed help bathing himself. Now imagine him emerging from that depression feeling strangely freed. The only person on this earth he was afraid to offend or shock was now gone. He now goes from writing standard pop fair to writing dark, complex, sexually explicit lyrics. He poses for an album cover wearing a dress. He announces that he is bi-sexual. This causes a great interest .Suddenly he is invisible no more. His next album produced two top ten hits in England. Word of him quickly reaches The United States where his albums start to sell. He is now every critic’s darling. He is posed for stardom and he knows it. He also knows that anybody who has ever felt different will be buying his next album. He toils greatly over this. It was the last song on this album he gave the greatest thought to. He knows this will be his message his fellow misfits. He titles the song “Rock’n’Roll Suicide”. When he records the song he begins it in a slow melancholy way. Suddenly he burst into a powerful, unbridled, unhinged passion. He sings, almost screams, “You’re not alone” over and over again.

Now back to that boy in America. His sister, who he worships, brings home two albums, “Hunky Dory” and “The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars". Both of these are the works of a man who renamed himself David Bowie. He is the same man described in the paragraph above. The boy listens to his sister’s description of the David Bowie concert she had just come home from. He watches her face in amazement. Very rarely is she this exited. She says the sentence, “And he’s bi-sexual, isn’t that amazing?” Never having heard the term before the boy doesn’t even answer.
The next morning the boy sneaks into his sister’s bedroom and picks up both albums. He looks at the pictures. He is amazed at the look of androgyny. He is absolutely startled by the look of defiance and pride. The title “Rock’n’Roll Suicide” catches his eye. He plays the song. Not quit believing what he just heard, he plays it again. This time he listens even closer. He begins to cry. After realizing he can’t stop he gets up and locks the door. He sits on the bed and cries some more. He cries like he never cried before. He cries from relief. He cries from happiness. He cries because he instantly feels no longer alone. He cries when he feels the first sense of pride growing in his soul.

During the song David Bowie asks the boy to give him his hands. The boy reaches out and holds his hands as tightly as he can. He never let go of those hands. And he never will.